My manager at the time, Cale White, said, “the only thing that matters is that you are comfortable being you.” These words were extremely impactful and one of the big reasons I returned to the firm after being let go in 2020 because of COVID19. On my first project at Deloitte, I remember nervously asking if my mannerisms and look would be too “gay” for the client. Allies showing up outside of June is just as important to a queer person's journey. Maybe if I had attended a Pride event earlier in life, I wouldn’t have been so afraid to love myself. The impact of this bold act of self-expression can be transformative for an impressionable youth looking for community and validation.
To show others that it’s okay to love what you love, and who you love.
#Why am i gay for skin#
It is a month when we show people how comfortable we are in our own skin - whether that’s throwing on a wig, vogueing, or just wearing a Pride flag. That’s why I think Pride month is still important today. At Pride, seeing people being themselves allowed me to finally give myself permission to be proud of who I am. I started to learn that the gay community wasn’t only about drag and being sassy, but it’s also about accepting being different and celebrating expressing yourself. Some say Pride has lost its roots and is overly commercialized, but it's what started my journey of self-acceptance.
#Why am i gay for full#
I remember seeing the full spectrum of the community for the first time, rather than just what is portrayed in the media. There wasn’t enough intersectional representation for me to feel safe in any community and this led to a continued feeling of loneliness and isolation. It didn't help that there are rampant racism issues within the community - on apps it’s quite "normal" to say things like "no Asians" on bios as if it's socially acceptable to be racist stating "preference" as justification. I felt like I wasn’t normal, that I wasn’t gay enough to fit into the queer community and wasn’t straight enough either to fit in with heteronormative society. I started to feel even more lonely when I accepted that I was gay. This carried into adulthood my internalized homophobia came from my fear of being different, and I looked down on anyone who tried to be different. I only began to feel a sense of acceptance or belonging when I started to copy what everyone else did, laughing when others laughed at a homophobic joke, or only wearing certain colours that made me look more masculine. It wasn’t until my first Pride parade did I understand what it meant to be proud.Įver since first grade, I heard jokes at my expense about my sexuality because of how differently I acted from my peers. I was confused and resentful of the gay community for being proud of who they are. These are words I echoed for the last 20 years of my life, even after coming out. “Why do gay men have to come out? Why do gay men have to be so feminine? Why do they have a parade? There is no straight parade.